love hurts

I hate my life today.
Like it always does, when things go along swimmingly enough, something fucks up. Two weeks ago, I admitted to the world I’m a woman in love. Now I’m not so sure anymore.
Love….what the fuck is it?

Judging from the number of songs titled “Love Hurts”, I guess not a few people don’t have it easy too….this is the only one I know though:

Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and mars
Any heart not tough, no strong enough
Take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud, holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, love hurts.

I’m young, I know, but even so
I know a thing or two, I’ve learned from you
I’ve really learned a lot, really learned a lot
’Cause love is like a flame, burns you when it's hot
Love hurts oh, love hurts.

Some fools rave of happiness, blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess they're not fooling me
I know it isn’t true, I know it isn’t true
Love is just a lie, made to make you blue
Love hurts oh, love hurts…

- Love Hurts.Sinead O’Conner

Happiness in life and in love….all seems so far away now.
Maybe it’s just not in my destiny.

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It feels like I’ve been struggling against the tide and the waves for so long. Now I feel like giving up and just letting myself sink. Let the water surround me, hold me, grasp me and eventually fill up my lungs….
I’m going crazy.
I need a long break.
Get away from it all.

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud,
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds,
I've looked at life that way.

Oh but now old friends they're acting strange,
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

- Both Sides Now.Joni Mitchell