volcanic heart

“If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom?”
– Kahlil Gibran

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Hell, in the space of a few months, I’ve managed to piss off everyone who means something to me. My good friends, my parents, the man I love. A while ago everything in my life was going swimmingly; now everything's just wrong. And it’s hitting me hard. I’ve lost the zest for almost everything, even my vintage clothes and the current issue of cosmopolitan. Tsk tsk.

I think I lost myself somewhere along the way, I lost the girl who’s full of attitude and who has a fire burning inside to fight for what she believes in. I desperately need to find her again. I can’t recognize the person I see in the mirror nowadays. If you see her, let me know. Pronto.

I touch the fire and it freezes me
I look into it and it's black
Why can't I feel?
My skin should crack and peel
I want the fire back

- Walk Through The Fire.Buffy

I need the last 6 episodes of Sex and the City. Watching Carrie reach closure in her love life might make me feel better.

http://quiz.ivillage.com/astrology/tests/sexandthecity.htm
(Just did it again. And got 40% Miranda 30% Carrie 20% Samantha 10% Charlotte. Hmmm….)

How frivolous. I know.

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I read about things like suicide bombers, kidnapped journalists, people being beheaded and schoolchildren being held hostage by terrorists, and it seems so wrong to whine about my life. But this is the only life I know, and I can’t help it.

Sigh. Forgive me.