pet peeves

Cent. Ciento. Cento. Honderd. Hundrede. Sata. Centum. Hundre. Mia. Hundert. Hyaku.
Different languages. Same number.
Congratulations.

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Pet peeves.
These are the things that get on my nerves, like an itch that doesn’t go away.
Time to use the blog to get some points across.

1. SMS language.
Please. Don’t subject me to this. Write a sentence like you would speak it. Summarise if the sentence is too long for proper spelling. Nowadays mobile phones provide dictionaries, so use them.
And the worst thing? It is not a generation gap thing. In the course of work, I’ve received such badly spelt messages from senior managers, general managers, associate directors... Says a lot for professionalism, doesn’t it?
Next time, I’ll just reply you, “Message not understood.”

2. When people spell my name wrong.
My name is Li Kar. It consists of two words. If, like me, you dislike capital letters, I can handle li kar. But not likar or god forbid, Likar. I repeat, it consists of two words. If we had meant for it to be one word, we would have told you so. If two words are too much for you, I allow you to call me Li.
I didn’t call you Step Ha Nie or Mi Chael did I, you little pricks?

3. People who ask for my English name.
I can’t stand the question, “So do you have a Christian name/an English name?” Firstly, I’m not a Christian. Secondly I’m not an English. Thirdly, if I don’t intend to use the name I just introduced myself with, why the hell would I be telling you!!!???

4. Friends who take you for granted.
Yes, I’m here for you. Yes, I’ll lend you my shoulder to cry on. Yes, I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. No, you may not use me as an excuse for your misbehaviour. No, you may not use me as a shield against the world. No, you may not make up stories about me. No, you may not quote my life story as an example. No, you may not use me as a point of reference. No, you may not use my stories as party entertainment.

5. B.O.
There are things called deodorants, anti-perspirants, perfume, whatever. Use it.

6. The issue of marriage and babies.
To people and relatives who like to pose questions like “why are you not married yet?” or “so when are you getting married?”, I have four words for you.
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Not yours, not the freaking government’s.

7. Swimmers who crowd into your lane at the pool.
If you come at a bad time. If there are no more lanes. If it is obvious to people who can see (not you apparently) that the lane is already taken.Wait for your turn, you stupid idiot.

8. Prams.
Pushing a pram does not give you right of way. Period.

9. People who block the train/lift doors.
Very simple. If I can’t get out, how can you get in?

10. Drivers who hog the right lanes.
The right lanes are there for a reason. And when you drive on the expressway, you are supposed to go faster than 60kmh, PARTICULARLY on the right lane.
It is not your grandfather’s road. Unless your grandfather is called Central or Pan-Island or Tampines.
Where did you get your licence from by the way!!??

11. Drivers leaving parking lots who deliberately take their own sweet time when they know you are waiting for the lot.
One word. A**hole.
I hope you get the same treatment the next time you have an emergency.

12. Narrow-minded twits.
When you want to voice out your personal opinion, please make sure it makes sense.If you are totally biased. If you only want to see things from one point of view. If your criticism is destructive in nature. If you are viciously racist, sexist or ageist. Keep your narrow-minded opinion to yourself.
I have a hearing problem, which means there is only so much I can hear in my lifetime. I’m not going to waste it on you.

Think I’m going to step on a few toes with this list, be it language or content.
Oh well, take it in the right spirit people.