the trick is to keep breathing

It was the Chinese New Year festivities the past week, a time when the Chinese communities around the world put everything on hold to celebrate a new year and the togetherness of the family.
Surrounded by family, surrounded by happy smiling people everywhere, I have never felt lonelier.
Have you ever felt so alone that you can almost grasp the feeling in your hands? Like it has become something tangible? Exactly what I felt.

Met two of my friends for lunch the other day. We agreed a long time ago that the three of us are real losers in love, Anyway during lunch, one of them asked me if I know what it feels like to be in a relationship and yet feel utterly alone. Apparently she had asked around and no one else can.
Darling, like I told you, I know exactly what you mean.
It's much much worse than the loneliness you feel sometimes when you are single.

I had sort of a relapse on Friday night. I really thought I was getting better, likewise everyone else I guess. But there, it happened. I was back in that dark lonely place with no light and no hope, sinking into a pool of total despair. My mind rejected all sense of reason and it was truly scary.
No one else in this world can help. I have to be able to do it myself. But the way that my mind is churning and turning nowadays, it's totally out of this world and really, you have to be there before to know exactly what I mean. Every moment seems like an uphill task.
The trick is to keep breathing, I guess.
My favourite band has it so spot on...

I found this the other day. It is so me...
And so, I leave you with the angry little asian girl.

http://www.angrylittlegirls.com/